The Map JC Decaux Doesn't Want You to See!
For the record, the "21" didn't start out to be adversarial to the 49 Mile Ride in particular. I'm not even sure how it came up in conversation, but Iggy and I decided it would be funny. Of course, the thing with Iggy is that when you come up with some great idea for a ridiculous event (like drinking beer inside every space toilet in San Francisco in a marathon bikeride), most people would just agree with you that it would be great, and then forget about it. Whereas Iggy will say, "Let's make the flyer."
The flyer, in the case of the "21," is a map. There are actually more than 21 JCDecaux toilets in SF now, but not many. My main concern was that there might be a new one at the beach, god forbid...This isn't really that kind of athletic ride. Iggy had heard or seen that there were at least two more than last year. So I called JCDecaux to get a current list of the locations of these public toilets.
In case you don't know, these public toilets are pay toilets. JCDecaux charges people 25¢ to use them, and they are covered with ads. Not only that, JCDecaux's contract allows them to build these nontoilet "advertising only" structures all over the sidewalk. When you are looking for a public toilet, you will probably see twenty JCDecaux ad structures before you get to an actual toilet. So in a way, the toilets are just a symbolic gesture by this ad agency, so that they can paper the sidewalks with glamourous ads of emaciated young white people wearing Nike and Gap.
I asked the receptionist to fax me a list of the locations, and she asked with suspicion, "What organization are you with?" I mumbled something about school, research paper, tourism...She said "I'll have to ask the superviser and call you back." Hmmm. That's weird. I wonder if there could be any purpose in trying to conceal the locations of two dozen gigantic green public toilets?
After numerous calls back, the receptionist finally tells me, "I'm sorry, but we don't give out that information." I ask, "What if I have to go to the bathroom?" She's sorry. I remind her that the toilets are VISIBLE, and I'll find them eventually...She's still sorry. I tartly ask if she would like me to give her a map after I make my own, and she declines.
Well, time was getting tight now, so I called The Coalition on Homelessness. A resourceful bunch, they didn't have the current map but suggested the Department of Public Works. The DPW helpfully suggested The Department of Street Use and Mapping, who cordially directed me to the Bureau of Street Furniture.
"Street furniture?" I asked Jake, who replied, "Yes, that's what we call it. Toilets and phone booths." He graciously faxed the list to me, and the secrets of the public facilities were now ours!
The actual ride was fun, but very different from last year. A guy did the whole ride on a tall bike, which was cool. Especially later in the night, when he put on a hat with devil horns, and eventually acquired some kind of spear or hoe at the Coit Tower toilet. Then he rode through all the touristy spots swinging this spear over his head.
The Second Annual seemed to involve more drinking time. I mean, the point of it is to drink inside every toilet, but I think by the eleventh hour, I'm ready to just share beers. As a result, we lost one of our party to excessive drinking - she was unable to finish the ride and even got lost for a while between #20 and #21.
More to come!
